Monday, March 28, 2005

If we hurry, we can see NCAA

Today was the day. My day's of carrying only one bag are over. Now it's on to two.

To tell you the truth, I didn't think I could do it. I know how much you have to move around for one bag. And now I will have TWO bags to worry about? Forget about it. But I found out very quickly that it isn't much different.

The worst holes were the ones that "split" me. When one of my players would hook and the other sliced, that meant trouble. And on the 8th hole, it happened not once, not twice, but three times. They seemed to use the middle of the fairway as a slalom course. And this is a long, uphill par 5. I had a quick glimpse of what climbing Mt. Everest would be like. And when I reached the top and handed them their putters, I was relieved. If they had asked me their score, that would've been another story. I would've crapped my pants. Because after all that, there's no way I could've remembered another number.

But all in all, it wasn't that bad. One of my players brought a towel with him and preferred to clean his clubs personally, and the other never seemed to want to get a yardage from me.

Until the back nine.

Now about this guy who didn't want to hear the yardages. When we started, he was all business, no conversation. And I suppose by the end he was about the same. But for a few holes in the middle, I felt like a caddie. And that was a really cool feeling.

Here's what happened.

I started realizing that the more suave and professional I behaved, the better he played, and the more he wanted yardages and advice. I would walk onto the greens quickly and give him the signal to toss me his ball, and I would clean it quickly, toss the towel over my shoulder, and hand him the ball as I knelt down to read his putt in case he asked. And he actually asked me a few times for my thoughts about the line. True, I had no clue whatsoever, and I don't think he listened anyway, but it was the thought that counts.

Yes, this stuff I'm doing is not only obvious, but it is also ridiculously obvious. I mean, it's obscene how obvious this stuff is. But I'll tell you: when you do it in a cool, collected manner like you know what the hell you're doing and you don't look rushed, you get results. And when you feel like a caddie, it is, well, wicked awesome.

And, of course, to add to the stress, they were all moving quickly because they wanted to avoid the rain and get home to watch some of the NCAA Tournament. And despite all of the rushing, I wasn't very tired when we finished. My feet didn't hurt. My back didn't hurt. Even my lower bicep on my left arm--which normally doesn't even exist--didn't hurt. But as soon as I got in my car and started to drive, whoa. My feet hurt, my back hurt, my eyes were watering and closing on their own, and yes, for all of you keeping track, my lower bicep on my left arm was EXTREMELY tired.

But even after all that, I went and played two rounds at a par-3 nine-hole course nearby. And it was great. I was hitting high wedges, imparting some wicked spin, hitting 3/4 pitching wedges into the slope of these AWESOME greens. Well, maybe they weren't. But I'll tell you, this muni-style course has greens that would OWN this ultra-exclusive club right now. True, come July I probably wouldn't even want to look at these muni-crap greens. But right now, they're gorgeous. Wonderful slopes and readable breaks, and they were receptive. So very soft. I stroked one a few times. It was nice.

But moving along. I need to get some sleep. Yes, it's only like 10:24 pm, but I've been up for too long today. I have tomorrow off. Time to sleep in.

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