Wednesday, November 09, 2005

A Little Closure and A New Beginning

I tried my best. I avoided her calls and I felt strong and resolute in my decision to rest and relax.

But the little tweaker used a friends’ cell phone and I didn’t think before I answered one of her final attempts. There was no conversation. She simply said, “Hey, I’m on my way over there right now. See you soon.”

This girl is insane. I have no idea what I’ve been doing or saying that would give her the impression that I actually wanted to hang out.

An hour later, she rings the doorbell. She’s wearing a jean-skirt that’s so short she’s using both hands to hold it down far enough so as not to look “slutty.”

“The traffic was fucking terrible. I know you’re probably tired, but you better make tonight worth my while for having to deal with that shit.”

Just then, an amazing fact struck me: this was the first time I had seen her sober. She actually sounded witty and interesting. Normally she’s so high and drunk that her tirades seem to drone on regardless of what face I make or how I respond. But tonight she was picking up on all of my sarcasm and throwing it right back in my face. Could I actually go through with this?

“So what do you want to do tonight? Just sit around not having fun again?”

“Actually no. Let’s go out to a bar. There’s one close-by that looks like it might be worthwhile.”

Now, what I failed to realize was that I really needed to focus on keeping her as SOBER as possible for as LONG as possible. Otherwise, I’d be right back at square one: another night dealing with the drunken little tweaker again.

For the first hour or so, I was actually having a good time at the bar. People were coming over and buying us shots because we looked like a “cute couple.” She even took the initiative and kissed me.

“I swore to myself I would do that tonight. Because I knew you were sure as hell not going to.”

Ouch. But well played my little ho-bag.

As usual, she dominated the conversation. At this point I had become quite complacent and completely forgotten that I had to talk at SOME point just to keep her interest. But at that point, it didn’t matter anymore. She was already talking to some other guy and told me she’d “find her own ride” back to my place.

“Just leave the door open for me.”

And so it came to pass, that at 2:46 am she came bursting through my bedroom door and started taking off her clothes. She grabbed my clock and screamed, “It’s 2:46 in the morning and you’ve got a topless girl getting into bed with you. Can you handle that shit?!”

I guess so.

And for an hour, I really did try to handle that shit. I tried to sleep. But she started to toss and turn, and after being kneed in the stomach for the third time I decided it was time to sleep on the couch.


So I’ve just come back to this file, and from here up is all I had typed. It’s been a little while since it happened, so rather than try to recount everything I think I’ll just give you the highlights and let you guys know what I’m doing right now.

Needless to say, that night nothing happened. I’m sorry. I know I probably should’ve done something with her, but I guess those highly intoxicated obnoxious girls just don’t “do it” for me anymore. Maybe they never “did it for me.” But the following night was the real kicker.

So I’m out at this bar trying to enjoy my last few hours with my friends before I leave for Florida, and I get a phone call from her. Now, you have to remember that this girl has monopolized my time for 4 freakin’ days, which means that at this point, I don’t even have the OPTION of hanging out with girl number two. We were supposed to hang out, but because of my erratic schedule with the little tweaker we could never finalize anything and ended up NEVER hanging out. So I was pretty psyched about that. So after all of the innuendos, the talk about drugs and drinking, the time away from my friends and all of the SLEEP I was missing, I snapped.

“Hey, so what are you doing tonight? I’m pretty low on gas, so I don’t really think I want to drive anywhere. You want to come here?”

“No. Look, I don’t know if we’re ever going to get to hang out again…but if we do, there will be no watching of movies, dinner, or watching television. We’re just going to have sex. That’s it.”

Long pause.

“So that’s how it is?”

“Yeah. That’s how it is.”


“So can I come over tonight?”

Jesus. What have I gotten myself into?

And about 6 hours later, I was heading to Florida. And yes, I left out that last part on purpose because I feel it would be wrong of me to alter the content of this site THAT MUCH in one posting. But I am in Florida now, and I can’t wait to tell you guys about it. I just need to grab some sleep tonight because tomorrow will be my first day as a Caddie Master at this new account. So I have to be on my toes. I’ll hit you guys up again soon. Take care everyone.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dude, I hope you tapped that thing hard! I can't believe it took you this long. She was clearly looking for some "rumble in the jungle".

If you need some inspiration go to and spend a hour or two reading his stories.